Parallel Parking

Ok.  Here is the thing.

Parallel parking and I, we don’t mix well.  In fact, I think it hates me.  I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such hatred, but I am 98.7% sure that it hate me.

Today, I tried to rekindle the flame between P.P. and I.   I was downtown, meeting a friend for brunch, and the streets were packed.  Not one parking spot in sight.  Usually, I would go out of my way to find a parking spot that I can just drive right into, but today, I was running late and so I decided that if any spot became available, I would take it.  Parallel parking or not.

After circling around the block a few times, I saw an opening.  A pretty big one actually.  The spot  could comfortably fit my car plus another Smart Car.  But… I had to parallel park in order to get into it.   So I pulled my little Pontiac G6 beside the spot, turned on my signal, and said to myself “I love parallel parking, I love parallel parking, I love…”

Cars were lining up behind me.  I had to do it.  There was no turning back….  I put the car into reverse, and slowly started to back up.  Now, I have a question, why do other cars appear to be so close when you are trying to parallel park?!?!  I knew that I had more than enough space, but once the parking process starts,  why does it always feels like there is no space?!?! 

Is it just me?  Am I a mutant?  Should I seek therapy about this?

So, 10 seconds later, I was on the curb.  5 seconds after that, I was almost perpendicular to the curb.  10 seconds after that, I was on the curb again and am now facing on coming traffic….  5 seconds after that, I had a minor anxiety attack and wanted to disappear off the face of the planet.  After another good minute or so of going no where, I drove away from the parking spot…

If you were on the road today and you waited in a line of cars because a silver Pontiac G6 could not parallel park in to a 2 car space….  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.

I really thought P.P. and I were friends.  But no, my heart was shattered today, into a million pieces.

I need some serious help…  maybe not from this lady tho….

I ended up parking 4 blocks away from the restaurant.  It was an empty street,  and I didn’t have to parallel park.

I don’t know why Mr.K loves me.  He is an automotive engineer and he used to drive race cars.  He can parallel park his car with his eyes close, while eating a slice of pizza and writing a thesis at the same time.   Well, let’s hope he never finds out about my inabilities in parallel parking…. ever.

At brunch, I ate 5 pieces of bacon.  And life was better again.

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5 thoughts on “Parallel Parking

  1. Pingback: Pills. My worst fear. « Breakfast Monkey

  2. So while you don’t seem to have the parallel parking gene, you apparently do have the 5 point turn gene… not everyone could turn their car around so easily. I would write your thesis on that!

  3. Have you ever asked Mr. K to show you how to parallel park …with his eyes closed, while eating a slice of pizza and writing a thesis at the same time? I am sure he could teach you how and you wouldn’t have to worry about PP again.

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