Ok. Here is the thing.
Parallel parking and I, we don’t mix well. In fact, I think it hates me. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such hatred, but I am 98.7% sure that it hate me.
Today, I tried to rekindle the flame between P.P. and I. I was downtown, meeting a friend for brunch, and the streets were packed. Not one parking spot in sight. Usually, I would go out of my way to find a parking spot that I can just drive right into, but today, I was running late and so I decided that if any spot became available, I would take it. Parallel parking or not.
After circling around the block a few times, I saw an opening. A pretty big one actually. The spot could comfortably fit my car plus another Smart Car. But… I had to parallel park in order to get into it. So I pulled my little Pontiac G6 beside the spot, turned on my signal, and said to myself “I love parallel parking, I love parallel parking, I love…”
Cars were lining up behind me. I had to do it. There was no turning back…. I put the car into reverse, and slowly started to back up. Now, I have a question, why do other cars appear to be so close when you are trying to parallel park?!?! I knew that I had more than enough space, but once the parking process starts, why does it always feels like there is no space?!?!
Is it just me? Am I a mutant? Should I seek therapy about this?
So, 10 seconds later, I was on the curb. 5 seconds after that, I was almost perpendicular to the curb. 10 seconds after that, I was on the curb again and am now facing on coming traffic…. 5 seconds after that, I had a minor anxiety attack and wanted to disappear off the face of the planet. After another good minute or so of going no where, I drove away from the parking spot…
If you were on the road today and you waited in a line of cars because a silver Pontiac G6 could not parallel park in to a 2 car space…. I am sorry. Please forgive me.
I really thought P.P. and I were friends. But no, my heart was shattered today, into a million pieces.
I need some serious help… maybe not from this lady tho….
I ended up parking 4 blocks away from the restaurant. It was an empty street, and I didn’t have to parallel park.
I don’t know why Mr.K loves me. He is an automotive engineer and he used to drive race cars. He can parallel park his car with his eyes close, while eating a slice of pizza and writing a thesis at the same time. Well, let’s hope he never finds out about my inabilities in parallel parking…. ever.
At brunch, I ate 5 pieces of bacon. And life was better again.