I have 2 ears. I have 2 ear infections. One on either side.
My ears hurt.
My face hurts.
I went to a walk-in clinic last week, and the doctor there poked into my ear and gave me ear drops to take home. To be honest, I felt a little unsure of that whole situation. The doctor had a lot of chest hair and he had to look up my ear drop prescription on his iPhone….
It was kind of sketchy…
Just to be clear. I have nothing against chest hair. It’s just the iPhone thing that was sketchy.
Ok, honestly… I don’t really like chest hair either.
Needless to say, the ear drops didn’t work. I ended up going back to a new doctor yesterday afternoon… and 2 hours later, I was given a blue bottle containing some of the biggest pills that I have ever seen in my entire life!
You know how I have a fear for parallel parking? Well, here’s my other greatest fear. Swallowing pills.
Here’s my question. Why can’t they all be chewables?!?! You know like those Flintstones Vitamins? They work perfectly fine! And they come in a variety of colors!
I always have to mentally prep myself for hours before I swallow a pill. ANY PILL. And if I succeed in swallow that pill, I will always consume a minimum of 5 chocolate donuts immediately after, just to bring myself back to place of happiness.
Some of you may find this ridiculous… but I can’t help it! I am terrified. It is an issue. Maybe there was some childhood truama, maybe there is some hidden meaning, I don’t know! I need counselling!
Somebody send help.
I am about to have a mental breakdown over these giant antibiotic pills.
There should be a law against large pills! Is there a maximum pill size by law?!?!
Somebody get me some donuts!