A Dark Smudge

I was grocery shopping today, and while I was having an intense internal debate between whether I should buy roma tomatoes or grape tomatoes, a kind gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and said: “Excuse me, miss?”

I looked up immediately, adjusted my glasses which were falling down my nose at this point and smiled.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Umm… I just noticed from over there that you have a dark smudge on your nose, and I thought I should tell you”

“Oh?” I immediately ran my left hand over my nose and parts of the smudge transferred onto my fingers “Oh…Oh! It’s chocolate!”

Then without thinking, I licked my fingers. Then I rubbed my nose again…with the same hand, and licked my fingers some more.

At the corner of my eye, I saw the gentleman who had gone of his way to tell me that I had chocolate on my face slowly starting to back away.

“OMG Annie. YOU ARE IN PUBLIC! STOP EATING STUFF OFF YOUR FACE!” My inside voice screamed…

I stopped immediately, still with some chocolate on my fingers, I waved to him (with that same hand), and yelled “Thank you! It’s just chocolate! Dark chocolate! I was baking earlier!”

He walked away, with an expression on his face that was a combination between confusion and disbelieve. He quickly disappeared into the Deli section, never to be seen again.

At a loss for words, I then did the only thing I knew how… I licked the rest of the chocolate off my fingers.

There are 2 major problems with this situation:

Problem #1: Men have stopped coming up to me to tell me that they noticed my eyes, or my hair, or anything similar to that…. Instead, men come up to me and tell me that I have food on my body.  Today it was chocolate, 2 weeks ago, I had cream cheese on my sweater and last month, I had crackers in my scarf.

Problem #2: I DIDN’T bake earlier today. I have no idea where the chocolate came from… I don’t even know how long it has been sitting on my face.

Has this ever happened to you? I think I need to go to some kind of help group… or I just need to check myself in the mirror a little more often.


4 thoughts on “A Dark Smudge

  1. Oh, Annie you silly bunny, you are not alone. My hands are usually a motley of bright purples, reds, yellows and blues from the super-concentrated icing food colourings I use to decorate cupcakes and cookies. It’s like a weird rainbow disease.

  2. One time I had peanut butter in my hair. My hubby told me when I got home from work. How long had it been there and why didn’t anyone tell me prior to that?

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